Ever had a problem you can’t think your way out of? A grievance you just need to get off your chest? Stuff you just can’t ask your mum, or your friends? Career advice? Family issues? Fashion hangups? Then ask Angstanista!
Just send an email to talk@thegroovini.com
We promise you anonymity, you don’t have to tell us your name, just the pertinent facts, and we’ll do our best to help. Where possible, we’ll rope in other opinions – from our regular contributors, and our friends who have experience in the area of your issue.
And if you Dear Reader, wants to chip in, please do – after all, we’re all here to help each other.
This week’s question is from J, 32
“my boss doesn’t like me, even though I’m good at my job. I’m worried it’s going to affect my annual assessment. What should I do?”
Angstanista says:
I hate it when life isn’t fair. And sadly kids, it often isn’t. It also drives me nuts when people tell you that adversity shapes you, and its how you deal with your troubles that defines you as a person.
I know that’s true, but when you’re down and out, you just don’t want to hear that do you? You want a hug, or constructive advice (and often just someone to listen and nod).
Honestly J, my advice is, if you can bear it, keep your head down, work your socks off and show your boss just how good you are. That would give you more satisfaction than walking away. And maybe it’s your impression but it’s not really the case. Your assessment will tell.
But if you really can’t take it, hate getting up and going to work everyday, then find somewhere else worthy of your talents and your efforts. Sometimes it’s wiser to admit a no-win situation.
C, a seasoned recruiter and MD of a boutique headhunting firm says:
First off, is this just a case of you taking this personally, or does your boss treat everyone else the same way? Some bosses can be just plain difficult. If you genuinely believe that he/she doesn’t like you, it may be time to ask your boss for one-to-one time to have a constructive discussion about your performance and career development way before annual assessment time comes around. This will help you clarify what it is he/she doesn’t like about you.
You can perhaps suggest going for a coffee to ask for his/her thoughts on how you are doing and how you can improve. This hopefully will put your boss in a situation where he/she has to present an objective view of your performance and offer suggestions on professional development. When annual assessment time comes around, there are no surprises as you’ve had time to work on his/her feedback and suggestions.
If the coffee heart-to-heart fails and your suspicions were right, it’s time to explore other alternatives in the company or outside.
Sue, career coach, says
- Let’s start by thinking about some specific instances of when you thought s/he showed dislike towards you. Are you sure it was about you, and not something else causing his/her behaviour? If it was you, was it some specific behaviour of yours or just you personally that s/he was reacting to?
-If you can’t identify other reasons and you are convinced that your boss just does not like you, the next question is – does it really matter in the way you think it does? Sure, we all want to be liked – but let’s face it, we don’t have chemistry with everyone: do you have any evidence that it will affect your annual assessment?
- If you really think there is a risk of your assessment being biased, what can you do to make sure that the conversation is about your performance and not personality differences?
- Do you have a good idea of the objective criteria you need to meet to get a good assessment? KPI’s? Key responsibilities? Core competencies? If not, how can you get them and make sure you are delivering on them?
-Lastly, who else is involved in your assessment? If no-one, and you are worried about bias, how can you ensure that other parties are consulted or involved eg asking your boss to get feedback from your clients or colleagues?
Hope this helps J! Let us know how you get on.
