This stand-off between 2 security guards and me is so good, I have to share it before I forget.  Granted, I was being an ornery, obstinate beeatch, but seriously, the logic so infuriated me, it just made me dig in my heels.

I’m waiting in a basement carpark of a building while my niece runs in to pick up a packet of soup.

As it’s going-home time, the driveway is busy, so I pull into the loading bay.

Security Guard 1:  Cannot park here

Me:  Am not parking, am waiting.  2 minutes

SG1: Here cannot park

Me:  Why?

SG1:  Here loading bay

Me:  Is someone coming to load?

SG1:  No.  Here cannot park

Me:  But no one is loading now.  If someone comes, I will move

SG1:  Here loading bay

Me:  But no one is loading

SG1:  Move over there

Me:  But I will block cars there

SG1:  Here cannot park.  Here loading

Me:  Who’s loading?

SG1:  Cannot park

Me:  I’m not parking

SG2:  MOVE YOUR CAR

Me:  Why?  I’m not in the way here

SG2:  HERE IS LOADING BAY YOU EDDICATED SHOULD KNOW MADAM

Me:  There is no one loading, what’s your problem?

SG2:  This is not for parking, you should be ASHAMED MADAM

Me:  I will just be a minute, there’s no one loading

SG2:  Move over there

Me:  I will obstruct traffic there

SG2:  THIS IS LOADING BAY

Me:  No one is loading, I will move if someone comes

SG2:  THIS IS LOADING BAY

(niece gets into car)

Me:  I love you, Umesh

and then I drove off.

I suspect I will be barred from entering that carpark in future…!

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